Iraqi Sheik Hires Blackwater, Company Now Fights Self
The North Carolina based mercenary group, Blackwater USA, has been contracted by a top Iraqi sheik to fight with Al-Qaeda in Iraq. The founder and CEO of Blackwater, Erik Prince, said, "We are a neutral party, and we go where the money is. This is a business, people!"
Blackwater is currently contracted by the United States government to work as private security, bodyguards, military chefs, and occasionally stage managers for the USO show. Now, with this new Iraqi contract, Blackwater will be doing similar if not the same type of security/culinary work.
People fear that this confusing turn of events will cancel out the work that Blackwater is doing with the United States. When asked about claims that this new contract will create a schism and possibly start a civil war within the private military security firm, the founder added "Nah, we here at Blackwater are all kinda besties [best friends]. If anything, we'll probably just pretend to be fighting with ourselves, but in reality, just shoot our guns off in the air and scream a whole bunch when no one is looking."
So far, Blackwater has not reported any casualties in their firm on either side. Prince defends theses figures by saying "We're not here to kill each other. Our primary targets are Iraqi civilians, I know, it's pretty fucked up!"
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